Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
