I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
