I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
