He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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