He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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