I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
