Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
