In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
