How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
