I look better un-naked...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize