i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
do herpes really smell.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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