I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
