just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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