why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize