my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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