If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
