he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
