Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
