brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
