Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
