apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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