i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize