He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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