I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
