she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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