But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
