so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Can't talk, ducks in the car
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize