i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
