what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
