Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
