it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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