you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
