u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he fucked my hip out of place.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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