she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
