Her vagina should come with caution tape.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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