I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
