my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
