Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
