she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
