It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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