You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
