we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
