I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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