I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
