You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
