I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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