I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
