...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The air was thick with penises
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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