well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
