Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Randomize