First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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