Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
