i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
