Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
