He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
