So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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