Just cropdusted the office
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
