SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I believe in your delicious
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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