I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
