I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
even my farts smell like vagina
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
