Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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