youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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